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Social Intelligence

If you want really understand who I am and what I'm about, please watch this short 10 minute video by my man Jordan Peterson.  This will shed some light.



I hate that the name of my affliction is antisocial, that makes it sound like it's somehow my choice.  I much would rather prefer the diagnosis of socially retarded because that is literally what it is.  We have a window between the ages of 2 to 4 where social health gets established and if we miss that window, we spend a lifetime with diminished social tools, awareness and abilities.  See what I'm saying about this not being a choice?  When they say, "oh, he's just being anti-social" they make it sound like it's optional.   Imagine someone suffering from mental retardation* and someone saying "oh, he's just being anti-intellectual"!!

*Because I'm antisocial, I fortunately get a 'Get out of jail free card' for being PC.  The American Psychiatric Association (APA) is responsible for naming, defining, and describing mental disorders. In the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), the APA replaced “mental retardation” with “intellectual disability" (intellectual developmental disorder) but unfortunately they haven't done the same with antisocial.  It hasn't been replaced with "social disability" (social development disorder).  In point of fact, the APA is politically incorrect with naming social development disorder 'antisocial'.  Social Health is just as important, if not more so, than emotional health or mental health.

To be clear, this isn't the same thing as Antisocial Personality Disorder.  Personality disorders are at the end of a very diverse spectrum of traits and tendencies identified with certain archetypes.  I just have a low Social IQ, that's all.

It's embarrassing for me to share this with the world as it's been something I've been hiding most of my life but at least it will give you some context and it's a small sacrifice to make if it helps bring reform to the game.

We've all heard of I.Q. and emotional intelligence (E.Q.) has come into vogue in recent years but there is also something called social intelligence (S.Q.) and if you were able to measure mine someone it's probably at the low end of the spectrum (although I'm sure some have it worse than me) and meditation has certainly helped a lot.  The horror that was my childhood is something that I prefer not to get into in any detail but it involved abuse on all levels, alcoholic parents, etc.  Do I get to say #MeToo because of the severe oppression I endured as a young boy?  No thanks. I don't identify with my affliction nor to I play victim or complain.  That's not who I am.

The long and short of it however is that I have a crippling disability and SOTG discriminates against it.


Of course, calling me Crazy Frank is very hurtful.  My mental health is relatively fine, it's my social health that's not so good.  I don't bond or connect very well or easily with people, I don't really have many friends and as Jordan says at the end of this clip, the world has been a very unwelcoming and scary and most people are liars.  Brian of "Being_Ulti" said I can have the account this week and say whatever I want and then he kicked me off for expressing myself.  So he's a liar too.  Don't promise me something and then back out when I do something that is outside of your idea of 'normal' or appropriate.  My whole point this week was to shine a light on your misguided sense of right and wrong.  You can't have this framework based on egalitarian inclusiveness and then exclude someone who doesn't think like you.  I hope I've made that point, it was a huge sacrifice to make putting myself out there like that.

I'm a happy man and I enjoy life so I don't need any pity, sympathy or even empathy but some compassion would be good.  Compassion is seeing me as an extension of you, not separate from you.  Compassion heals.

What you're seeing this week on Twitter, and what you've seen in the past on RSD and /r/ultimate is not really me either.  Anyone who's met me in person knows who I am but you really need to understand this phenomena and how it relates to SOTG and why I crave meritocracy and hate the current framework.  The one word I would use to describe how you've all treated me for decades is cruel.  As a culture, you've been extraordinarily cruel.

SOTG inherently prejudices against low SQ in ways that have been excruciatingly painful to me (and likely others) for the past 40 years.  Sports are meant to be a venue for people to compete on the merits of their ability, not compete in terms of who has better social health.  Respect (from the roots "re" meaning 'back' and "spect" meaning 'to look') literally means to be able to see through the other's eyes.  It's therefore almost impossible for any of you to respect me because you have no clue what it's like moving through the world with low SQ.  Mutual respect presumes high SQ and has no business in sports.  Decency, dignity, yes those are great things but don't confuse those with respect.  If you understand the true meaning of the word respect, the ideology of mutual respect is actually pure evil.

In my life, with all the ups and downs and death and divorce and getting fired etc., there was always ultimate to see me through.  I am ridiculously good and I'm sure the best ever.  There's really no close second.  That may not be socially correct to say, but I don't care because you're missing the point.  You've hurt me in ways that are unfathomable.  The depths of pain and sorrow this game has caused me is unimaginable.  Asking me to adhere to some sort of misguided social norm with my affliction while simultaneously trying to compete on the field was literally throwing me to the wolves and then when I didn't respond 'appropriately' I was ostracized, castigated and socially castrated.

Just take a look at the hate and derision I encountered this week.  Now multiply that by 10,000 and that's your spirit of the game right there, that's what my last 40 years has been like.  I love all sports, golf, basketball, etc.  I've played them all pretty much but I fell in love with ultimate because I love playing Frisbee and the reason I love sports is because they are a way for me to function in the world in a structure of rules that provides meaningful and easily understandable boundaries.  I think a good word to describe ultimate is sociotocracy, you advance based on social health instead of merit.

But as much as you'd like to think otherwise, ultimate isn't a sport, it's a fraternity/sorority that discriminates based on SQ.  You want gender equity?  How about SQ equity.  Sports are supposed to provide a fair and level playing field but not only does ultimate not do this, but it artificially favors people with high SQ.


All I really want are two things.  Total reform in the rules and a giant leap forward in how the game is played.  The rules need to be overhauled.  They're ridiculous and they do not create a platform for excellence (unless you want to measure social excellence and punish people like me who've had extremely abusive childhoods).  My rule changes are pretty much non-negotiable as a framework.  Maybe little tweaks here and there but these rules will normalize the game and bring it in line with real sports and make the game a meritocracy.  Maybe then we can start talking about who the greatest players are but in the meantime, as long as the game isn't a true meritocracy, debating on who's the GOAT is silly (shhh It's me, and there is no debate).

I've played with Irv Kalb and always thought he was a nice guy but he was a 19 year old kid when he codified the first formal rules and he didn't know what he was doing.  The risk/reward ratio in the game is completely out of whack.

I realize that Jordan B. Peterson is controversial and a bit of a lightning rod, but the reason I like him is that he speaks to my experience in ultimate frisbee with an incredible amount of clarity, accuracy and intelligence.  From my perspective and the hell I've gone through for these past 4 decades, his lectures are astounding in terms of articulating the problems with the game without knowing a thing about it.  Ultimate is egalitarian.  It assumes homogeneous Social Intelligence and punishes those who have diminished social health.  I have very little control over my social health, this is pretty much how I am.  That should not be a disqualifier to play a sport, especially the game I love so much.

What you've witnessed this week is an attempt on my part to illustrate to you, the community, the ugly underbelly of your culture.  You justify and rationalize the way that I've been treated as if somehow I deserve it.  Do you abuse people with other types of afflictions too?  I've been compared to Hitler, Trump, marginalized as a troll, ridiculed, called a sexist, anti-semite, misogynist, derided, insulted and somehow that's all ok.  What a bunch of hypocrites.

Ultimate is very much a form of cultural marxism.  That it is egalitarian is undeniable.  The underpinnings of equality of outcome are everywhere in the rules, which are all geared for lowest common denominator.  It's participation trophies on super steroids and that's not good for anyone.  The false positives in the game are extensive and this predictably leads to entitlement and narcissism.  The entire fabric of the game is all dogmatically held beliefs.  That's not good for anyone.

And finally, the joke is on you as you don't know how to play.  Throwing mechanics are terrible, tactics are lacking, strategies are banal and primitive and it's unwatchable crap.  It's no coincidence that a person with low SQ has advanced the game so much further than anyone else.  It is pretty liberating not caring what people think about you and just doing your own thing.  

I'm just trying to help and I've decided that the only way to bring about change is to open up and talk freely about my poor social health.  I just want to be loved, like everyone else.

But please don't ask me to meet your standard for social health, I can't do that.  Having a utopian dream based on some misguided idea of sportsmanship doesn't take into account human nature and all the varying degrees of social, emotional, mental and spirit health we all have.